You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
