Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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