Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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