I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
