He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
