nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
