she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
