not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
