Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
