nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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