It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
