dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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