She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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