My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
