It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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