I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
