Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
