And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
