singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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