that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
