I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
