That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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