Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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