Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize