But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Terrible idea I love it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
