Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
