Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
