I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Boobs speak an international language.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize