I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
