i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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