And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
