You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
