i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
