yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When did angry sex become our thing?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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