thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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