i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
