you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
