Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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