You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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