i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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