So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
