But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
