if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
