her vagine was all disorganized.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
