They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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