Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize