your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i love accidental penises.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
