so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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