The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
