the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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