Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
