Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
