so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
