i think my mom watched the whole time
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
