# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
