oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
