WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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