you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We are all done wearing pants today
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize