I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
