Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize