Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
