So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
