So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
